Wild Child

So...since I post only when the mood strikes rather than by some arbitrary "rule", it has been awhile since the last post (again!). The next one might be in another six months or it might be tomorrow. Oh the excitement!! ;)

In the interest of being real and genuine and all of that I wanted to clarify the fact that my social media accounts are not entirely representative of my entire life as the parent of a toddler (never mind as the parent of a teenager, the wife of a business owner and the list goes on and on) This is not intentional to throw you off or in an effort to pretend my life is anything other than what it is. While obviously some aspects of life are private (and should be!) and some other things don't seem particularly interesting to warrant sharing, there is also the reality of judgement. While I was once so concerned about the opinions of others, I no longer feel that what others think of me is my business. I am not living my life to be liked by some random mom judger and I am no longer concerned with having an opinion or a life that in some way conflicts with the "norm" (In all honesty, if most of what I see on social media or in the lives of the rich and famous is the norm, I'm completely content with being the odd one out).

With regards to my social media and the parenting of a toddler, you will often see photos of our little adventures together. Ruby and I like to get out and see new things and interact with friends and with the world. What you might not see as much of is the time we spend playing at home and this is for two reasons: 1. for the sake of your interest and 2. she is usually naked!

Here is the deal. It's fun to dress her in cute clothes (when she lets me) and do her hair and all of that, but that's not real life. She's a wild child at heart and she prefers to be naked, she requests for her hair to be "wild" and her favourite activities involve sand, rocks, water and sticks. I think that in a time when many kids spend too much time staring at a screen (I won't pretend that she doesn't watch tv or play games on the iPad, but it's limited), I want to encourage real play. I want her to learn cause and effect through real life experience and to create her own fun through open ended play and loose parts...where the possibilities are endless! I want her to get dirty and make memories. I want her to learn in her own way, rather than in a way that is decided by someone else (myself included). Do I sometimes wish that she would just sit and play with her cute little kitchen with all of its wooden accessories? Yes! At the same time, I know that coming up with her own games and her own play will serve her well (even when it's too messy!). I'm not one for mess and my imaginary skills are seriously lacking, but she is teaching me in her own way to let it go a bit and to trust the process.

So, when you see my photos of a well dressed toddler with her hair in a cute little bun walking around the market, just know that when we got home she ripped the bun out, took all of her clothes off and found some dirt to play in.

It's been awhile...

Hey there! So it's been an embarrassingly long time since I last posted here, but nothing like a new year to get one motivated :) I thought I would be very cliche with my first post of the new year and write about some of the ways that I keep my life organized and some of the new ideas that I hope to incorporate with the start of a new year.

So, a few months back I was feeling very overwhelmed (hence the lack of posts!) and every day I felt like I had a huge to do list and I spent my days asking Ruby to hold on for "just one more minute" while I finished something before I could play. I was feeling like I couldn't get enough done around here and I was feeling like I wasn't spending nearly enough quality time with her and the mommy guilt at night after she settled was too much :( I decided I had to try something different so I started a chore and a meal plan and it has made a huge difference for me.

For my chore plan, I just divided my tasks up among the days of the week. This way I don't feel like I have to try to get everything done every day and by dividing it up, I can feel like I've accomplished something each day rather than feeling like I have barely made a dent in a never-ending list. Here is my chore plan so that you can get an idea of how I divvied up the workload...

Monday - master bathroom and Sarah's bathroom
Tuesday - main floor bathroom and basement bathroom
Wednesday - glass cleaning
Thursday - deposit pay cheques and pay bills
Friday- catch up day/odds and ends
Saturday - Sarah dusts, we go through flyers to make a grocery list, meal plan and shop
Sunday - floors and changing all bed sheets

*emptying garbages, recycling and compost is done when needed
*laundry, dishes and general tidying is done daily

I sometimes get these chores done when Ruby is napping and other times I let her "help". I used to save everything for nap time because I didn't want her around the chemicals that I was cleaning with, but since making the switch to essential oil based cleaners, I don't have to worry about that.

Another area that I was struggling with was meals and the biggest task for me was trying to decide what to make each day and realizing that I didn't have a certain ingredient or that I wouldn't have enough time to thaw something. We ended up eating quick meals and take out more frequently than I care to admit and also ended up throwing food away because they would be expired before I would use them up. With meal planning, I try to plan based on sales and based on what I have already (if I have an ingredient that I know will expire soon, I try to incorporate it in to a meal). I alternate between meals with chicken and meals with other meats as Sarah doesn't eat red meat (this way we often have chicken left over from the night before for her and she can incorporate that in to the next day's meal). I also try to make enough to have left overs for lunches because otherwise we are often left eating take out for lunch more often than we should. So far, this has been a game changer for me! We are eating healthier, throwing away less food and meal prep isn't as annoying because I know the plan and have the ingredients to execute it. I'm not going to pretend that we are eating fancy over here and that we don't eat take out, but the meal plans helps.

One idea that I had for this year is to make one new meal each week. I often find that we eat the same things over and over and I'm looking to expand our meal list...and my palate. I will rely on websites like Pinterest and ideas from family and friends to accomplish my goal and when I find some yummy ones, I will share :) If you have a favourite meal don't hesitate to share it with me!

Lastly, I joined a running group in September and have been really enjoying it! I've never been a very active person and it's always been a goal. It's also the first time since Ruby's was born (she was two in October) that I've done something just for myself and I am certain that it is helping me to be a better person and a better parent. I love to have goals and there are always goals with running! My plan for this year is to do something each day for myself. This could be a run or some yoga or even just the plank for a minute wherever I am. This goal isn't because I am trying to lose weight or get a six pack or because of any vanity on my part (I am actually very proud of a body that carried my sweet girl and that has nursed her since day one and I don't have a single body issue!) This goal is only because I think something for myself is important, that goals are important and because I think that mama strength and overall health are great examples (not to mention helpful when carting a toddler around and pulling her and her sled all over the snow!).  If you want to join me, I plan to add some at home yoga practice with 'Yoga with Adriene' on YouTube. She has a free program called Yoga Camp where she will upload a new yoga video each day for the month of January. She has so many great videos on her channel already too! Come on...we can motivate each other!! :)

Sensory Bins

Ruby is a big fan of sensory play, so we keep several sensory bins on hand for whenever the mood strikes!

I am slightly obsessive with certain things, so I make sure that all my bins are the same so that they stack well and look organized on the shelf (I am okay with your judgement!). We find 8.5x11 to be the perfect size for our bins and using clear bins means that we can see what is inside without opening each one to find what we want. Also, clear bins means that that you could transfer your entire bin to a light table should you ever be inclined to do so (Daddy is making one for Ruby, so this is a nice feature for us...so excited!)

Here is a list of our favorite bins:

1. Kinetic Sand - Ruby and I are both big fans of this stuff! It is soft and smooth and never leaves your hands feeling sticky or dry. It is easy to form in to various shapes and also feels neat just to let it slip through your fingers. It can be a little pricey, so I tend to grab a box or two when I find a sale for the times that you inevitably lose some to the dog hair on the floor. I found cute little accessories at Michael's for our bin, including tiny sand castle moulds and little shovels and rakes. (Note: Never pay full price for anything at Michael's! There are always sales and if all else fails, there is always a coupon!)

2. Water Beads - These are also popular in our house. You can find them at many places, but I found them to be cheapest in the craft section at Wal-Mart (and we got three colours in one pack :) We just followed the directions on the package to make them and they turned out great. We have had them for months and they are still in great shape (I have heard of people's beads getting slimy over time and wonder if the fact that we used distilled water instead of tap water made the difference?) Ruby loves to use bowls and spoons to scoop and stir her beads or she just rubs her hands through them (and I do too!)

3. Scented Rice - I just used a mix of whatever rice I had on hand and added a few drops of essential oils to scent them. Ruby scoops and stirs and loves the feeling of her feet in the rice bin. She also likes to add rice to small containers with lids to make shakers so we can have a little dance party while we play. 

4. Dyed Pasta - I used food colouring and vinegar to dye my pasta that I purchased at the dollar store (we typically eat gluten free pasta and I didn't want to use $10 in noodles to make this bin!) There seemed to be several suggested ways to dye pasta and this way worked really well except for the lingering smell of vinegar (this is what helps the colour to stick), so I scented the noodles with essential oils as well :) I add measuring cups, spoons, bowls and various containers so that Ruby can scoop and "make supper". 

5. Beans - This is our newest bin and was immediately a favourite for Ruby! I just added a bag of white beans that I picked up for less than $3 at Wal-Mart and two trucks that I grabbed at the dollar store...a dump truck and a "loader" (Ruby's fav!!) Ruby has been enjoying scooping the beans with her loader and dumping them in to the dump truck. She also wanted to pour beans in to my hand and have me pour them in to hers. We had this bin out three different times today!

As Ruby gets older, I will work on expanding her bins and making them more complex, hopefully creating fun little environments for her to explore. For now though, these bins provide lots of fun while engaging her sense. 

**Please be cautious with the use of essential oils as not all brands are created equal and not all oils are safe for children. If you have questions, I can do my best to help as I use oils on a regular basis and am passionate about them.

If I can make this, you can too!

I've never been crafty or creative in the slightest, even though I've always wanted to be. Even simple things like sewing up a small hole on the seam of a piece of clothing was left for my husband to fix. I've envied people who could paint, draw, sew and crochet, but until Ruby, it never bothered me enough to do anything about it. I purchased all of the sweet headbands and cute dribble bibs on etsy (love that site!!) and the baby leggings too! Once I started to work on myself (more on this in an upcoming post), I realized that I should try to learn the things that I've been wanting to learn..what am I waiting for anyway?? Don't I want my kids to see that you can try new things (at any age!) and even stumble along the way and still be learning and having fun with it? So, once Ruby started wanted to wear blankets as capes, I saw my chance and headed straight to Pinterest!! ;)

I need you to understand how little I knew about sewing before my little project. I had to watch youtube videos in order to teach myself to load thread on to a bobbin and then how to load both the bobbin and spool on to the machine to start sewing! So...I knew nothing!

Between nap time and the evening after Ruby had gone to bed, I whipped up an adorable reversible cape. Ok...so it was less like whipping it up and more like hoping not too mess up too badly and keeping my fingers crossed that I was capable of coming up with something that resembled a cape!

I used this post that I found on Pinterest to make Ruby's cape. It's reversible with a solid teal fabric and a teal chevron star on one side and a teal chevron fabric and solid teal lightening bolt on the other. It cost approximately $28 to make (I already owned a sewing machine and had a fabric cutter). I also ended up with some fabric left over that I might try to make snack bags out of.

http://hideousdreadfulstinky.com/2012/12/reversible-cape-tutorial-for-capes-for-kids.html

It isn't perfect and my seams are crooked in places, but I was proud that I learned enough to make something for my favourite super girl and in the morning when I showed it to her, she turned around and backed up, requesting "on". She ran around the house yelling "fast!". That's good enough for me :)

So, if your little one needs a cape, I recommend you give this one a try, whether you are "crafty" or not. Also, if you have something you've wanted to learn, go for it! Why not?

Who is raising who?

Parenting tests your limits as a human being. It just does. It's exhausting and anxiety provoking. It's incredible and amazing. There are good days and bad. There is crying...and not just from the kiddo! I've cried because I've been exhausted, because I've been anxious and I've even cried because my heart feels so full that I was sure it could explode.

If you are truly invested, parenting changes who you are. There are the obvious changes, like the ability to get yourself ready for the day at warp speed, the ability to do various household tasks with one hand and the ability to "function" on very little sleep. Then there are the profound, life changing sort of changes. The ability to love another person beyond all measure, the ability to truly put another's needs above your own and the desire to become a better person in order to do the very best for this little person. 

I can't even begin to explain how much I have changed in the last 19 months. This change is an ongoing journey for me and I am enjoying it (mostly!). What started out as intense anxiety as a parent of a newborn has become a journey of self-discovery and of personal growth. Letting go of control and anxieties, being open to new ideas and working on myself so that I can be a happy and healthy parent. 

Parenting forces you to face those little things about yourself that need "tweaking". Children are meant to push those buttons and guide us to the areas that need our attention so that we may better ourselves and in turn, be the parent they need us to be. As an example, Ruby has never been the kind of child that follows a strict schedule and I was the kind of person that "needed" predictability. Initially this was hard for me and created a lot of anxiety. I have learned to be more flexible and this has served me well in all areas. I have less anxiety about things in general and it's been a welcome change.  Now with toddlerhood, its' skills like patience that are being challenged and I am trying to respond appropriately to this test whenever possible (sometimes this is so hard...toddlers can be tough teachers!!). For me the overall lesson thus far has been learning to stay in the moment. To stop multitasking or to stop enforcing my own agenda and just enjoy the time. I have gotten so much better at this, but of course some days are harder. It's always a work in progress...always!

Do I see every parenting moment as a wonderful lesson? Nope. Do I handle every moment with grace /patience/understanding/gratitude? Nope. Do I get frustrated sometimes? Absolutely! The point is that I am trying my best to grow as a person not only for myself, but for my children. I'm trying to see my role in all of this rather than being a passive participant. I want to be an example rather than asking them to do as I say, but not as I do. I'm trying to grow as a person to meet Ruby's needs rather than trying to make her conform to meet mine.

If I want my children to love themselves, I need to love myself. If I want them to give their best in all that they do, I need to do the same. If I want them to have positive relationships, I need to model this. If I want them to be grateful, be mindful, be kind and be happy, these must be my own goals as well. I'm working on it and will continue to do so. I may be raising them, but they are raising me as well and I am grateful for the opportunity.

You know you are breastfeeding a toddler when...

1. She wants a sip of your drink and a bite of your snack while she is nursing

2. She can ask for "milk" (and sometimes "milkies") and can also tell you when she wants to switch sides ("ah" is "other side")

3. She sometimes reminds you to clip your nursing bra when she is done drinking

4. You occasionally find a sticker or a raisin in your bra

5. She can say "thank you" when she has had enough

6. She can perform amazing gymnastic moves while drinking her milk

7. You don't remember what it's like to wear or shop for clothes without considering whether or not breastfeeding will be convenient

8. She considers your breasts to be her property ("mine!") and may take it upon herself to reach in to your shirt just to make sure that you are taking care of them

9. She tries to multi-task by playing with toys, reading a book or watching a show while she gets her drink.

and finally,

10. You have moments or entire days when you are tired of sharing your body with a demanding little  person, but most days you are incredibly grateful for the time to bond and snuggle with your busy toddler and you feel sad at the realization that this part of your relationship could be over at any time.

Build a learning tower. Seriously. Do it.

Meal preparation has always been a bit of a struggle over here. Breakfast and lunch have been a bit easier as we tend to go for simple menus, but supper is usually a pain. Ruby wants to eat as soon as she knows that something is being prepared and if that isn't possible, she wants to watch the process by being held. She is, and always has been, an observer (not "nosey", but an "observer" lol). 

Finally, we decided to build a learning tower so that Ruby could observe meal preparation and "help" if she wants to. We used Pinterest to find the plans and built one using this link...http://pinterest.com/pin/210332245073875278/

The materials cost approximately $65 and the tower took about two hours to build. These plans show a folding tower, but neither the shopping list nor the instructions account for this, so remember that if this feature is important to you. We opted to avoid hinges bc we thought it would be more sturdy this way and I assumed we would use the tower far more often if it were out and easily accessible. 

We've been using our learning tower daily! Ruby likes to watch meals being made, play in the sink while I make cookie dough bites (I mean...while I make home grown, organic family meals!) and she loves to wash her own hands. 

We still need to paint Ruby's tower (using a paint that can easily be wiped clean!), but I haven't wanted to part with it long enough to get that done :)

A happy toddler and a cooked meal while encouraging independence? I'll take it!!